21 Months

Nya will be 21 months old on Saturday.  It seems she has grown into a young girl so quickly!  I sort of feel like she's out of the toddler stage, especially because she doesn't wear diapers (except for sleeping) and she's talking so much more.  She's my little sidekick and we are incredibly thankful for her.

She is the one we will likely be tested the most with in regards to patience.  She is loud.  We are teaching her to say `no' instead of screaming when the boys bug her.   She often doesn't know what she wants but we know it's the opposite of whatever we are doing.  She must wear boots, hat, coat and have her phone (old cell phone) if we are leaving the house.  

She loves to bug the boys.  She will turn off the Wii when they are playing.  She will grab Koen's cars and run away as fast as her little legs will carry her.  However, she loves her brothers, `Doey and Dai'. 

She loves to make sure all doors are closed and has learned how to open the doors for the rooms upstairs...

All of this is so normal for her age and I'm glad that she is asserting herself.  It's so awesome seeing how they learn to figure life and themselves out.  I remind myself of this when she MUST HAVE WHATEVER KOEN HAS or whatever major event is happening in her life.

When I ask her what she wants for dinner, she always says `Ketchup!'.  She loves her dips.  I would say she is a pretty great eater!  So thankful for that.  When she is supposed to be going to sleep, we will often hear her in the  monitor singing `Happy Birthday' or saying `Food fight!'.   She loves to brush her teeth.

She doesn't watch tv yet but (this is ridiculous), loves to watch Phineus and Ferb with the boys.  `Berb!  Berb!'.  She loves to wash her hands but does not like it  if her sleeves, or any part of her, gets wet.  Clothes must be changed immediately :)  She loves wrestle time with Gary and gets right in there.

She doesn't leave my side easily.  We are working on this and she is trusting more that I always return.  The only places I leave her are the church nursery, day care once a week, and sometimes at grandma's house.

{We were practicing wearing a headband and she thought Scooby wore it better}

She loves a good book.  She also LOVES looking at pictures of herself and loved ones.  Her frown can easily be turned upside down if we go outside (or give her an m+m...oh boy).

She is very sweet.  And strong willed.  I love this little bundle of awesomeness.  I loooooove this age, even though it can be tiring.  They are just so adorable with their words and smiles and cuddles.  Love you, Miss Nya (We actually call her Aiya as that is what she calls herself).

Hope you are having a good week.

Love, Louise

Sentimental

I'm sentimental so I love to keep things that have a special memory attached.  However, I also really do not like clutter so I try to get rid of anything that does not have too great of an emotional pull.  Sometimes I have such a hard time getting rid of one of the boys outfits when they outgrow them but I'm thankful that they can be passed on to my nephews so I still see them.  I've thrown out all of my old high school notes but have held on to numerous journals (although I really hope my kids don't read them!).  It's sometimes hard deciding `Is this worth keeping?'.  

This makes me think a lot about the kids toys and what I should keep for when they are older. They play daily with this Scooby that was Gary's when he was little.  They call him `Weirdo' because his face looks a little different than most Scoobies (is that the plural?) you see these days.  Gary's parents still have all of his matchbox cars and Little People (remember the camper?! They have it) and my kids play with them when they go there.

In Nya's room, I have my old teddy bear, hair brush, and piggy bank.  I had bought her a really cute piggy bank and then just started using my old one because of all of the memories attached.  I wish I had my old cabbage patch doll, Hannah.  Hey sisters, do any of you have it?!

I feel such a connection to my mom when I brush Nya's hair with that hairbrush.  Yes, she has hair now.

Do you have any special items for your childhood that you are holding onto?  What items belonging to your kids will you hold onto for them?

Do You Grumble?

Do you ever grumble?  Do you complain?  I do.  I'm reading a book right now, Boundaries, and I have realized something new this past week.  It isn't rocket science but it has changed my perspective.

We need to let our boundaries known, in love, to those around us.   We don't want to hurt someone (I'm such a people pleaser!!!), so often we won't let them know that what they are doing or saying is bothering us.  I'm fine communicating with Gary but there are other places in my life where I really need to be confident in expressing my thoughts and concerns about how certain actions and words affect me.  Otherwise, I will just get more and more bitter.

A small example of this happened today.  I was getting our windshield fixed and the guy was going on and on about which chips were the best and worst and how to tackle each one.  Meanwhile, I had the two kids being CRAZY and whiny at my feet.  I could feel my blood pressure rising and thinking `Can he not see that I can't listen to him while these kids are driving me crazy?'.  You know what, maybe he just doesn't get it.  So, instead of trying to be `nice' and pretending to listen while exploding inside, I said, `I'm sorry, I'm really exhausted.  My insurance covers three chip repairs so I'll let you decide which ones to fix.  You are the expert!  We'll be back in an hour. Thank you.'. Phew.  Exhale. Out of there.  It's easier to do this with people that you are not close to, what about those you are close to?

There is something in particular that makes me grumble.  I have realized that it is UP TO ME to address it.  I mean, I knew that, but now I really know it and am challenged to do it.   It starts with the fact that I'm not very good at asking for help and I am working on it.   I think because I struggle with that, I am very sensitive to people's responses when I do ask.  It drives me crazy when I ask someone for something and they respond with `Well, I have ______________ (insert 10 things they are busy with) but I guess I can do it'  or `Well, I think I can make it work' (said in a tone of `this will be a pain in the butt but...).  It makes me feel like they really don't want to help but will because they have to.  I often feel like them helping me would be item number 2,000 on their list of things they'd like to do.

What would be a better way to respond?  Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you.
And, if you need to say no?  No problem!  I don't expect people to help all the time.  Just say, `I would love to but that date doesn't work for me.' or  I'm sorry, I can't.

I would rather hear `I'm sorry, I can't.' than `I guess I could make it work'.

End rant. Does this bother you too?  Maybe I'm just too sensitive.  However, if these responses hurt me, I need to be clear on it and let them know.  It's up to me.

If you find yourself grumbling or complaining this week, I encourage you to think about WHY it causes you to grumble.  Maybe you haven't let that person know how something makes you feel. Maybe you need to make your expectations/abilities/boundaries clear.  So important in work situations too, right?

Have a good week, friends.  Gary's basketball season is over which is bittersweet.  I will say that having him home to make dinner tonight while I walked with a friend was AWESOME.  I haven't posted cute pictures of the kids in a few days, must get on that!

Love, Louise

`Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbour, for we are all members of one body...' Ephesians 4:25

Change Me: The First Step in Improving Your Marriage

Yes, it's that day. Valentine's Day. My kids are adorable and awesome (and sometimes smelly and  gross) and I love them a whole lot. However, today's post is dedicated to Gary. My goal for this year was to make him a greater priority than the kids. This has done a lot for our marriage and I know that I can do so much more.

The biggest thing that has changed my mindset? Six months ago, we were in a tough spot. I don't think Gary really knew how frustrated I was until I finally told him straight out. I won't tell you that exact conversation but it was not a conversation that I ever thought we would have. I had been thinking `He's so annoying!  He's driving me crazy.  Will he ever change? We can't have a marriage like this anymore.'.  I just kept feeling like, `Well, he's not investing much so I don't want to invest. He doesn't make me feel important so I'm not going to do anything that makes him feel important.'. Yes, I was selfish and tired. At that point, you can either give it all you've got or not. Thankfully I decided that I would start trying more. More than I wanted to. He agreed to try more too (he TEXTS me now, people. This is huge.).

I read the first chapter from Power of a Praying Wife and it recommended that instead of saying and praying `Change him, God!', it's `Change me'.  What?  Yes. I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm a bit...bossy. I'm a bit of a know-it-all in regards to running this household. If I can change my heart which was angry, that totally changes my mindset and outlook and everything will follow. I needed to shift priorities and give more patience, love, time and energy without expecting anything in return.

It is hard having three energy and time suckers. I love them, but they can be hard on a marriage. It's tough when you are just giving, giving, giving.  Thankfully Nya has been sleeping so much better as I really think it's easier to give when you've slept 6-8 hours in a row. Also, as they get older, they get much easier to parent as their demands on me are fewer.

We are moving in the right direction. There is more hand holding, more laughter, and more meaningful conversations with better listening by both of us.  I would encourage you to make sure that your spouse is a priority over your children. A healthy, happy marriage is such a great gift.  To each other and to your kids.

{The first time I met Gary's family was at his niece Kennedy's birthday party 10 years ago.  I'm pretty sure he didn't even tell them who I was or that I was coming.  All I remember was that he made fun of his mom's pleather pants and I was shocked that he would say that to her.  I also realized then that that is how he shows people that he cares about them, he teases them.}

{Celebrating our birthdays before I left for Kenya. Both of our birthdays are in August.}

{Hiking Stein Valley.  So beautiful, so difficult.}

{We got along so well on our trip to SE Asia this summer.  It was fun and exciting and something we would love to do more of with our kids.  When we told Kai that we were saving for Disneyland he asked if we could go to Peru instead :)}

What are we doing to celebrate tonight? Once the kids are in bed, we are getting take out from a local Indian Restaurant .  We will hold hands and watch the Olympics. I will drink some wine. We will have bread pudding for dessert which I guess I should make now. It isn't anything exciting but we will be together, and more importantly, wanting to be together. You're stuck with me forever, Gary!

I hope you have a lovely evening.

Love, Louise

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Thankful Thursdays

{This quote was in our `Boundaries' Study this week. I like it}

Thankful for...
1. Samosas.  We have a new local Indian restaurant (walking distance!) and they have 2 for $1 vegetable samosas.  I love them. I keep them in the fridge and have one a day.  It's probably not that healthy.  If you live in Clayton, try them out; Diamond Sweet & Restaurant.

2.  Skating lessons.  Kai gets to take skating lessons through the school again.  He's still not a natural but taking lessons when you are 7 is very different/easier than when you are 3!  They have play time for 30 minutes and lessons for 30.   Yes, I put him in a full cage, I don't want his teeth knocked out :)

3.  Buddies to watch skating with.  We were able to go and stay the whole time to help put on and take off skates.  Usually Koen has preschool but he didn't on this day.

4.  Selling our old washer/dryer.   My father-in-law fixed the old one for $20 and then we sold them.  Every bit counts!

5.  Gift cards.  I love gift cards for things that I would never spend on myself.  I would never go to Starbucks but being a teacher's wife (Gary is gifted gift cards and he doesn't drink coffee!) allows for me to go almost once/week! I usually go Sunday mornings on the way to church.  Also, we have 3 gift cards for dinner that we going to be able to use this year.  One with kids, two without.

6.  Gary involving Nya in the cooking process.  I most definitely do not have the patience for that.  She's tenderizing the pork to make schnitzel.

7.  Swimming Lessons. Love it. Passed it!  I wish I could continue to sign them up as they love to swim.  However, there's the whole cost and time thing.  I think I will sign them up again after spring break. Koen wants to be a life guard and I would love for him to be one, such a great summer job or through school etc!

8.  Bookmarks. I love having fun pictures as bookmarks.  Here's a keeper I found of Gary from his TWU years.  I love it because he's flexing which is so not him...he never flexes for me and is the opposite of vain....humble?  I think he was trying to be funny.  He's fine with me sharing, I asked :)

9.  Slippers.  The older I get, the colder I get.  I am seriously considering getting down booties from MEC.

10.  Kids Antics. I love that my kids are so different.  The boys would wear whatever I asked them to and they still do!! They don't care what they wear as long as it's comfy.  Nya is adamant that she always leaves the house with her hat and a coat of sorts.  She is very opinionated.  If I even open the dresser for a second, she will want to pick her whole outfit so I always try to do it when she's not around because her choices are obviously very random.  Here she wanted to eat a cheezie but couldn't push it into her mouth because she had these gloves on.  She refused to take the gloves off.  Yesterday, she insisted on bringing a helium balloon along in the van.  She's just very strong willed and I don't want to fight her unless it's actually something worth fighting for.

All righty!  I hope you are having a good week.  I leave you with the Serenity Prayer.  This was up in our home growing up (my mom cross stitched it) and the words are powerful.

Love, Louise

Love

My friend Shannon from church, and of Gift of Life Photography, came by Monday morning and captured a special moment between Nya and I .  I have fed Nya here on this couch almost every day of her life (except while we were on holidays).  I think this photo is beautiful and I am so thankful to have it.

I cherish these quiet cuddly moments with my busy little girl. 

Family Weekend

Our family weekend is not very exciting but that's okay.  Sometimes easy and simple means relaxing.

Saturday we went to Tynehead so that Koen could practice his biking.  It is the perfect path, in my opinion, to practice biking. Wide paved loop with very few people and just under 5 km.   

Nya loves doing anything outside, Kai is very easy going, and Koen, well, he was cold and tired and thirsty.  Still, it was just nice to get outside and get fresh air.

Today we went to church and now Nya is napping while Gary has taken the boys to the Lego Movie!  It's supposed to be very good and it's affordable for us to take the kids to the Clova ($5/person).

{I've realized I'm rarely in photos so today I asked Gary to take a few while Nya and I were reading one of her favourites `Blue Hat, Green Hat', also known as `Oops!'.}

I'm not sure what we are doing on `Family Day' tomorrow.  I do know that I'm doing a photo session in the afternoon.  It's a newborn one and it will be in their home.  It's supposed to be dark so I've packed up all my lights and gear to take along.  I know I've said this before but I am so thankful to continuously have photography clients.  New ones. Repeat.  So thankful.  I'm currently pretty much booked until the third week in August as I only do one session per week.  

I am thankful for our health and feeling bad for those that are in the thick of it still!

I hope you had a good weekend.

Love, Louise

Thankful Thursday

Thankful for:
1. Restored health.  It feels sooooo good to be out in the real world again.  Back to routines of swimming lessons and preschool and school and life.  I had tears in my eyes watching Koen in preschool because I know how much he's missed it.

2. Koen's sweetness.  Usually the fridge magnets end up being messages from the boys to each other like `Kai smells'.  However, I came across this one the other day.

3. The `Doggie Book'.  My sister Maria gave us this book when Kai was little and every single kid has gravitated towards it.  They have all LOVED dogs and this one has opposites.  Hearing Nya's voice say `Happy!' `Sad!', well, it's too cute.

4. Notes of Appreciation.  I usually sub at the high school but last week I subbed grade 4.  A few days later I received this note thanking me for being her sub.  How sweet is that?

5. Diversity in our home.  I am thankful that amongst the Cars, Pokemon, Beyblades and Star Wars Lego, there are My Little Ponies.  And can I just say, I had ONE pony growing up (which I loved) so doing their hair with Nya is pretty fun :)

6.  `Boundaries' book study.  I am doing this right now with women from church and although I missed the first two weeks due to sick kids, I know there is so much that can be taken from this.  I am a people pleaser.  I like to follow rules and I feel guilty so easily.  I sometimes do things without a cheerful heart, I'm often resentful.  There is so much for me to work on.  

7. A great school community for our kids.  Next year, Koen will be joining Kai at school.  The reality of the amount of tuition for two kids is hitting us.  We have had so many big expenses this past year and now have to figure out how to pay the $6000.00+ and still have an emergency fund.  It is a huge commitment as it's pretty much an amazing vacation we could be having each year, or even that new vehicle we'll soon need.  I am actually considering trying to find a part time teaching position but hopefully once wedding season hits I won't be as worried about our shrinking emergency fund.   Kai loves school.  The cultural diversity in his classroom is great, the class sizes are fantastic, the teachers he's had have been amazing, and the love and support he gets are awesome.  So far, we have been really impressed with his experience there.  I love that he is continually challenged not just academically but also in his character.  

8. Parenthood.  The show. Love it.  Joel reminds me of Gary (looks wise).  Their whole story line has me thinking `Why doesn't he want to work on his marriage with Julia?!! Try counselling?!!'.  

9. Nap time.  For Nya.  Enough said.

10.  Whipped Cream. I love it.  We had a carton of it when I was sick and I was nervous it was going to expire before we could eat it.  We got better just in time and enjoyed pancakes with homemade raspberry sauce and real whipped cream.  I don't buy it often (it was on sale) so that is why I was so concerned about it.  I looooooooooooooooooooooooove it.

Happy Thursday, everyone!

Love, Louise

Marriage Tip #78

Gary and I are working on our marriage a lot more now.  It used to be so easy but apparently having a third kid was when things got a whole lot harder for us.  Or, maybe it was just being parents for seven years and suddenly these little people sucking all of our time/energy took it's toll.

We are putting in more effort to be patient, loving and kind.  One of his requests for me was to ask, and care, how his day was and what he did.  You would think that I would be doing this all the time, right?  Nope.  Often, when he gets home, it's dinner time and it's wild and three kids are talking/screaming/making a mess.  I feel a little jealous that he's been away from the wildness so I don't really want to hear about any fun he's had.  I know, work is not `fun' but sometimes it sure seems like a vacation to me compared to some of the things I do each day.

{One of the happiest days of my life!}

Also, all day long I listen to Koen and Nya.  If you've met Koen, you know he's extremely chatty.  It is exhausting.  I get tired of listening all day.   I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO ME!

{I don't usually find Gary very funny but apparently I did during our vows!  Gary's dad married us at Green Lake on my parent's property.}

So now, I'm trying to be better about asking and actually being in the right mindset to care. I just have to remind myself that of course I want Gary to feel loved and cared for.

Philippians 2:4 `Do not merely look out for you own personal interests, but also for the interests of others'.

Is there anything that you are trying to do a better job of with family/friends/partners?

I hope you are having a good day.  Or, maybe just a better day than yesterday.

Love, Louise

A `Things' Post

My friend Shannon does a post every once in a while with cool things to check out.  I have a few random ones so I will share them here :)

1.  Shannon mentioned something and I'm going to do it again here.  Have you heard of the `One Match' program?  It's through Canadian Blood Services and is separate from blood donation.   It does take about 10 minutes to go through but I think it's worth it.  So instead of looking through facebook for 10 minutes, maybe check it out?  They send you a cool kit where you get to swab your cheek for DNA and mail it off.  I did mine last week.  Who knows, you could help someone by donating your stem cells.  Here is the link.

2. Depression sucks.  I have many loved ones who suffer from depression and/or anxiety.  As much as I want to complain about the viruses attacking my family over the last 2 weeks (OH MY GOODNESS, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!), I know it's nothing compared to what so many people go through every single day.  This video was good for describing depression and I asked Gary to show it in his class. Click here.

3.  SHE IS clothing.  There are a few things I love about this.  Let me tell you a few.  First,  I love it when women start up their own businesses.  Love when they take a risk.  Love when they can share their passion/artistic abilities with others.   Secondly, I love the message behind this.  Often I find that Christian stuff can be kind of cheesy, do you know what I mean?

I love that Kim is making clothing based on Proverbs 31:25.  Proverbs 31 talks about a wife of noble character and this verse is `She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without the fear of the future.'. My strength, when things get tough, comes from God.  My prayer this past week may have been begging for health for our family and strength to get through it.  I know the viruses that hit our home are NOTHING compared to what most people go through every day, but for me, it was weighing me down.

When I was in Kenya, I would talk to Gary on the cell phone once a week.  On Wednesday afternoons, I would sit in the cow pasture (where there was reception) and talk to Gary.  One day, he told me that my mom had bone cancer.  No cure.  Immediately I felt God holding me and protecting me and keeping me strong.  I would not have handled it well on my own.

Again, here is the link to her clothing line.

And now, just some pictures of the kiddos.  We have spent A LOT of time together over the past 2 weeks and are looking forward to being healthy again.

Kai Bear.  I love this kid.  It's sometimes hard to remember that he's my child not my buddy :)  He is very much `our' child.  Obsessed with watching cooking shows (he dreamt he was on Chopped) and loves to learn, especially in a school environment.

Koen (Just before getting sick.  Again. We just thought he was grumpy.).  He is so full of questions now.  Mostly he wants to know what various words mean.  After writing that, I can hear him say, in my head, `What does `various' mean?'. 

Nya (excited to find an old cell phone on the lawn).  This kid amazes us.  She's an amazing mix of Kai and Koen.  A very fast learner who loves to be goofy.  She will do everything and anything her brothers do.  The `Nya' ingredient is the volume.  She is loud,especially when she does not get what she wants.  We are learning how to discipline this strong young woman.  She melts our hearts daily and we are all so smitten with her. 

I hope you have a wonderful week full of good health!
 Love, Louise