Tired?

(He's pretty pumped about this battery powered train)

I feel that because I'm exhausted, everyone else must be too. Not sure why I've been exhausted these past two days but wow....I'm tired! Tomorrow we have a half day of school and then I'll teach my regular classes on Thursday. My schedule is to teach every other day which is perfect. I just spent an hour at my dad's house going through all my school stuff from kindergarten to university and I had to recycle a whole lot. I'm not sure why I wanted to keep a lot of tests/papers/certificates etc. but maybe one day Kai will want to see it? Probably not. It's just sad to see all that hard work thrown into the recycling bin.

Yesterday afternoon, we went to White Rock beach for fish and chips. Why don't we do that more often? It was perfect. One of the best afternoons all summer. Kai ordered for us by saying `Hi Lady, I have fish and chips please?'. She thought he was pretty cute:) We got to see the train and the conductor waved at us, we got to eat YUMMY fish and chips, we saw two jellyfish and a dead dogfish. Kai was pretty pumped to see all of these things and to be walking on seaweed.

(He said he was too scared to touch the jellyfish)

(`Cheers' with our fries)

Kai is funny. He asks a lot of questions like `What's happening mommy?' `Are you happy mommy?' and the other day he asked me to do something and I said `Ask your father'. He said, `Who's fawder?'. I guess we always call Gary daddy.

(Kai thought this looked a lot like Jaguar mountain, if you watch Diego, you know what he means)

I have really enjoyed motherhood (especially toddlerhood), although, the adjustment was way bigger than I ever anticipated. I have to say that I've always felt like a good mom. I'm not trying to brag, I just haven't doubted my ability to be a good parent. I would say that I am maybe just an average wife:) I would like to be a better wife and I know it comes mostly from the words I say. If you ask my family, I can be a little critical with those I love the most. I think this somewhat stems from being the oldest of a lot of kids and striving for perfection and attention and I don't know what else...maybe a desire for control and the belief that I can do it all on my own. I think marriage takes a lot of work and sometimes its easier to sit back on the recliner and relax. I think I've been surprised by Gary's sensitivity because he has a very laid back attitude where he appears to be unconcerned about what other people say BUT he is really affected by what I say and I need to watch it. As time goes by, he is becoming more and more sensitive it seems. I think getting back to work and not being together 24/7 will be healthy:) Not sure why I'm talking about this stuff but that's what I was thinking about today.

Last weekend of summer holidays!

This weekend I read the book, `A Long Way Gone', which I really enjoyed (if you can call it that). It is a memoir of a child soldier in Sierra Leone and it was a little more meaningful in the sense that our school has built a school in Sierra Leone and continues a relationship with that school (one of teachers will be teaching there this year too!).

I went to a garage sale this morning and bought Kai an Imaginarium train table, including the track and trains for just $30. He LOVES it.

I'm not sure if we want to start finishing our basement or just make it a functional unfinished basement that kids can play in. All I know is I want a playroom where kids can go play that is not on our main floor!

Here is a picture from today, so, almost 21 weeks. I feel really good. I would say that my pelvis problems have subsided but my back is already feeling like I'm 32 weeks along. I have a gift certificate from Christmas still, for Spa Utopia so i may use it for a fancy pregnancy massage:) I'm really trying to make an effort not to pick Kai up as he's a big boy. Talking about his weight, whenever we pass the digital gas price display on 72nd, he always yells out `31lbs!!!' because it looks like the scale display when he stands on it. Funny guy.

Well, time to head to the beach for the Chapman birthday celebrations...I'll prob. post pics from that later.

The sex of our baby is....

UNDETERMINED. Grrr...I'm so frustrated. They were unable to tell if it was male or female due to the baby's position in my uterus. I had only asked the technician towards the end of our session if he had checked the sex and he said he hadn't and that I was supposed to ask for it earlier. I thought you weren't supposed to bug them and that they checked anyway! He quickly checked but I guess it wasn't good enough.

I wonder if I am just not supposed to know. At this point, halfway through, I'm okay not knowing but in a few more months, I think it will drive me crazy. I guess you just come up with a name for both sexes that you absolutely love. Maybe you buy some girl onesies just in case. I was just excited to decorate the nursery a little more boyish or girlish depending on what it is. I also was looking forward to buying some girl clothes. I also felt that it would help me bond with the little one.

Maybe this is the one time in my life I can just be surprised? I don't know if I can do that. I might `have' to go for one of those 4D ultrasounds that cost too much money:) I'll have to discuss it with Gary and see what he says.

Franklin

Tonight Kai was running around the house with a pillow on his back. He just kept saying `Turtle back' and I was a little confused. He then explained, `Kai have a shell like Frankwin!' Today Kai was back at his regular daycare and he seemed to have a good time. I can't stand the fact that he has a cold already...once daycare starts, it never ends!

I really feel like Kai has grown in the past week...I haven't measured him but he just looks bigger. Talking about bigger, my belly is starting to grow a bit bigger. I've tried to get Gary to feel the baby kicking but he really does not have patience for that. I can't believe I'm over half way. I'm nervous because a crying baby drives me nuts. It never bothered me before having a kid so I hope that when our own baby cries, I will be okay with it. I'll just feed it all the time. That made Kai happier as he was a big pig. Talking about calling Kai names, today Gary said, `Okay Bumbles, get into your carseat' and Kai said, `No Bumbles Daddy, Kai precious!'. (note: Gary always has random, weird names for both Kai and I).

I thought this was a cool picture showing what is happening to my abdomen and internal organs at 20 weeks along...look how squishy it is for the digestive and urinary systems at 40 weeks! (below)

Back to school!

On Monday, we went back to work. We just have 3 days of meetings/prep so its a good way to ease back into it. The only thing I'm having a hard time with is leaving Kai in a million different places. He was at my sister-in-laws overnight for Jackie and Tyler's wedding, he was at grandma's house from Monday-Tuesday, and tomorrow, he goes to daycare. For him, this is very tiring AND he now has a pretty bad cold and cough.

Because we had Monday night free (Kai at grandma's), Gary and I went to Bellis Fair. We bought him a couple pairs of pants, we ate Chinese food, and we had Edaleen Dairy icecream. We could even hold hands when walking around because we didn't have Kai with us. It was a very relaxing evening!

I am looking forward to work. I feel bad that I will only be there until Christmas holidays but there's nothing I can do about that! I am teaching the same courses as last year (Science 9, Biology 11) and am still part time at 60%.

Last night, I could see the baby kicking after several weeks of just feeling it. It is such an eerie feeling and sight. To be honest, it kind of freaks me out and although I think it is absolutely amazing, it's kind of weird that there is something alive and moving inside of me. I now have no idea if it is a boy or girl and will be shocked and crying when I find out in the next week:)

Kai seems so old to me now. Today Kai said, `Mommy, how you doing?'. I love how he is putting all these thoughts/concerns/questions together. `Mommy, what daddy doing?', `Mommy, where daddy going?'. He seriously makes me smile and laugh each and every day. He has actually gotten a bit more particular about food. He does not like cheese anymore and rarely drinks his milk. It happened when I took him off of homo so maybe we will go back to it. He loves fruits and veggies, especially from the garden. He loves it when I kiss his owies and he thought it was hilarious when he told me that he had an owie on his bum and he wanted me to kiss it.

Gary and I had a good summer and it felt like it was maybe too busy. However, we are very appreciative of the fact that we get so much time off. We were able to take a lot of photos and it has been an interesting process working together on our GC Photography business. Our goal, when we started last year, was to do one photo shoot per month. We have reached this goal and tried not to surpass it. We really want to make sure that we keep it a hobby. We def. have defined our roles in the whole preparation, shooting, editing, and developing process. I would say that the one area we disagree is in the editing of maybe 5% of the photos where Gary tends to go a bit too far/artsy on me. I love that we go through this process together as it would be too stressful for us to enjoy doing it by ourselves. I could never imagine doing photography full time as we love teaching, but it sure is fun as a hobby/side job!

Jackie and Tyler's Wedding

I haven't even begun to look through our 1200 pictures of their wedding but here's one I thought was cute:) It was a great day. We did their photos before the ceremony which I have decided makes the day so much more relaxing for everyone! The weather was perfect, the bride and groom had a blast, and I'm very excited to welcome Tyler into our family. Kai slept over at my sister-in-laws so Gary and I were able to sleep in until 8:38am this morning! Woohoo! Congratulations Jackie and Tyler.

Comments by Kai today:

(I was kissing him because I was so happy to see him after his sleepover)

Kai: Mommy, too much kisses. That's enough.

(Gary was asking him a billion questions in a row)

Kai: Daddy, stop talking

Advice

Okay folks, I am asking for your advice on two things!
1. I wanted to keep my car forever as it is so reliable but unfortunately it will be unable to have 2 car seats in the back due to Gary's 6'3" stature. I know my car is not `cool' but it has been so reliable and I will be sad to see it go. Okay, now to the advice. We want to buy a new vehicle. Well, not new. I want to buy a used vehicle. I'm thinking minivan and Gary wants to be cooler with an SUV or something:) Our priorities are; seats 5-7, safe, reliable, lotsa trunk space, and good on gas. Oh ya, I want to spend under $10,000. My question is; what vehicle (aka type of minivan) would you recommend or NOT recommend?

2. We need a new double stroller. We do not need a jogging one as we have our bike trailer/jogger. I need a stroller that I can use every single day when I take the kids for a walk. It needs to have good storage underneath. I need a front wheel(s) that rotates. I would like one that is not too heavy and that's easy to maneuver as I will be post C-section (likely). I don't want to spend big bucks so I will be buying second hand. I do like the idea of clipping in the baby car seat so that the sleeping baby can be easily transferred to the house. I am leaning towards a sit and stand and we currently have the opportunity to buy one. What do you think of the sit and stand? What would you recommend for a newborn and 2.5 year old?

Two other notes
1. Kai said, `I'm tired', walked upstairs, closed his door, and went to bed. What a big boy. He has had quite the injuries lately. He burnt his arm on a hot pot (don't ask) and fell down my dad's 3 backyard cement stairs twice yesterday (due to being exhausted). He didn't have a good enough nap and when that happens, he is not steady on his feet. He walks around like he is drunk.
2. My sister Jackie is getting married tomorrow. So far, I feel less stressed than I did for Jan's but who knows what the day will bring! I have only a few responsibilities for tomorrow; pictures, jackie's makeup, and breakfast for the bridal party. No decorating, no coordinating, no running around.

Ultrasound Results

The reason the doctor called me yesterday, and I found out today, is because there was something that showed up on the ultrasound. Our baby has one Choroid Plexus Cyst (CPC). This is common in about 5% of ultrasounds and the cyst usually disappears in a few more weeks. The cyst itself does not cause any damage to the developing brain (located in the middle of the brain where cerebral spinal fluid is made) but it is a `soft marker' meaning it can indicate a chromosomal abnormality like Trisomy 21 or 18. I am not concerned about this (at this point!) because there were no other anomalies. He did just sent me for the Triple Marker Test so we will know in a couple more weeks what that indicates. That test is not diagnostic, it just indicates probabilities which is prob. not good for an anxious person like me:)

Everything else about the baby was looking good and it was measuring at 18weeks and 2 days last Friday. If that is the true age of the baby, then I think its a boy due to the date we conceived (too much info?!). However, ultrasound dates aren't that accurate if you ask me. Talking about the sex of the baby, we don't know!!!!!! The baby's gender is only released from the ultrasound clinic when the mother reaches 20 weeks, that means, it will not be released until Wed. and hopefully my doctor gets it Thursday because his office is not open on Friday. I'm okay with not knowing right now...

Well, time to rest up for my sisters wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner tonight. Let the fun times begin!

Boy or Girl?

Tomorrow we find out if we are having a boy or girl. I feel like this is HUGE. This will determine our family dynamic and I feel like I will grow so much more connected to this little baby once I know its gender. Whatever the doctor says will excite me. Gary thinks its a boy. I think its a girl. I was wrong last time because I thought Kai was a girl. Overall, I hope that the doctor's report of the ultrasound shows that all is well. The doctor's office called and left a message asking me to call. They have never done this before so it makes me slightly nervous...by the time i got the message the office was closed so I'll just talk to them when I go in tomorrow. Overall, I am just so excited to get to know this baby more. It is def. a mover, way more so than Kai was at this point. I've been around 2 really cute, content babies over the past 2 days and it makes me feel like I'm ready! Obviously this baby is nowhere near ready but I feel like I'm getting there. I'm really hoping and praying that this baby is a little more laid back than Kai was. I am really excited to experience a newborn while not dealing with the death of my mom, I wonder how different it will be? Obviously I still mourn the lack of a mom in my life, but it is def. a lot easier. Watch the doctor say that they never received the letter indicating the sex of our baby or that the ultrasound reports aren't in yet....oh boy!

One more week!

(I bought Kai new runners and he thinks he needs to run when wearing them because that's what daddy does:)

So, in less than a week and we will be back to work. Wow. Gary and I are trying to do minimal stuff today and tomorrow because once Thursday hits, its go, go, go (my other sis is getting married and then back to work!). Today we went to Tynehead Park and we also picked blackberries. Picking blackberries brings me back to my childhood as my mom loved to make blackberry jam and pies. I made some blackberry muffins and have to say, they were pretty tasty! I think we'll pick more and freeze them so i can continue to make yummy muffins!
(eating blackberries)

Physically I am feeling good. I have more energy and my breathing doesn't get as heavy when walking. However, my poor pelvis. I'm sure it doesn't help that I went biking yesterday but still, wow. It feels like it is breaking apart and I guess in a way, it is. It is so tender and feels so bruised. I don't remember this feeling starting so early last time. I feel it when I walk and when I sit. Lying on my side is good. I'm excited to talk to our doctor on Thursday about the ultrasound results.

(Peek-a-boo!)

I am still trying to figure out what to do birth wise. I am really leaning towards a planned C-section as last time I ended up with an emergency one. This is a very difficult decision, and really, it all comes down to what I think. My doctor will let me try a natural birth, although he really feels that it would end the same way. There are tons of pros and cons for each and I just feel that if I did try, and ended up with a C-section again, it would be a really rough, exhausting start to having a newborn (AGAIN). A C-section is not the easy way out. The recovery is not fun, mostly because your abdominal muscles are useless for about 6 weeks. I do recognize that some natural births end up in a much longer recovery as well. In no way do I want to try a natural birth again just to have the experience of pushing a baby out (frankly, it freaks me out), it would be more to decrease my recovery time. Last time, I got to experience a lot of what is involved in a natural birth (contractions, water breaking, being 10cm dilated FOREVER, pushing...and I really felt it all without an epidural!) except for the delivery which I recognize is a huge part of it. The reason I ended up with a C-section with Kai is because it was determined that Kai's head could not fit through my pelvis. This was decided when the doctor stuck her whole hand into my uterus and rotated Kai. Ya. In the end, it is all about bringing a healthy baby home, however, I'd like to be in the best possible condition to do so! I wish they could xray my pelvis and ultrasound the babies head and measure if it could work pre-labour:) In the end, I am just very thankful for our hospitals and all the care and options that we can recieve there.

And now for exciting stuff! I'm only posting this last because I wrote the first part of this post this morning:) This afternoon we got to visit the Voses and their newest addition! I was so excited to meet Riley. He was born on my birthday at a whopping 10lbs 2oz. His mom, Melissa, was able to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section) and I'm so proud of her for pushing for 3.5 hours! I was hoping Kai would be very interested in the baby but after holding the baby's hand and wondering if the baby wanted a car to play with, he said he was ready to go:) Riley is doing really well and allowing his parents a pretty good nights sleep so that is awesome! He is so cute and cuddly and I got to hold him for a bit to refresh myself on how to hold a newborn. I'm really hoping that baby Chapman will be a more content baby:)

Tonight we talked details on photos with Jackie and Tyler. I'm very excited for them as their wedding is in 5 days! The weather looks a little sketchy but if anyone can be fine with a little rain on their wedding day, it's these guys. Well, better head off to bed. Bon nuit!