A Belated High-Five to Parents I've Judged

Why are their boys so out of control? They just fight and break things and seriously, can't they ever just sit still? Are they even listening? Those were my thoughts before I had two boys of my own. And now, I get it. Oh, do I. Get. It.  Boys have mass amounts of energy and when you have two like mine...they fight. They have a hard time sitting still and they feed off of each other's energy. They love words like "fart", "poop" and "underwear" and get out of control with the jokes by egging each other on.  I know this doesn't pertain to all boys but it sure does describe mine – and it's okay. If that energy is not released, it's not pretty.  e're working on how to expend all that energy respectfully but it's okay if this process is a bit messy. And loud.

{Keeping seated at dinnertime is a feat in itself because they must move. Always. }

Why are their kids in play clothes all the time? I'm going to dress my kids in the cutest outfits and their hair will be so cute – I can't wait!  Well, apparently some kids don't like wearing jeans because they want to wear their "comfy pants" with an elastic waistband. Other kids just want to wear Lightning McQueen shirts for a year straight. Some kids refuse to have gel in their hair. Many won't even notice if they have food all over their face. And finally, socks with sandals may be insisted upon. The more kids that I have, the fewer battles I choose. Wear what you want as long as it's clean-ish; matching is preferable. I draw the line at stinky.

{What? Is there something on my face? }

{Hello, energy.}

I've realized that when I question other parents' decisions, I really need to check myself. Each parent-child dynamic is so diverse and there is no way that a quick glance, or even a 2 hour play-date, can show you all the factors at play. I know my own three kids are all so unique in their strengths and struggles, and in turn, I parent them each differently. Instead of judging, I've learned that it's actually pretty interesting to learn what makes each kid "tick" and what parents have found work with their child(ren). Gather resources, people!

{Talking about how each child is different, well, my son is obsessed with Hello Kitty.  We embrace it.}

I recognize that people will look at me with my three kids and make their assumptions, too.  Why is she giving in to her screaming 3-year-old daughter?  Doesn't she know she has to stand her ground? Why are her boys running in the grocery store aisle?  Can't they learn self-control? Wow, that mom sure raises her voice – I'll never do that! 

It's okay. I know. I've been there.  Said that.

{I suggested that we go to the park.  She loves the park but still had to figure out how we could go but not look happy about it.}

{"I'll sit here but I'm not going to enjoy it."}

Let's take the time to observe relationships with curiosity and a desire to learn and help rather than make a quick judgment call.

Think of all the knowledge we could acquire in the place of negative thoughts and opinions.

{Thumbs up for growth rather than judgment!}

To the parents with multiple wild boys who dress their kids in "comfy" clothes and let them wrestle in public – I so get it. To the parents of three-year-old daughters who are melting down again – you do what you have to do. Give in. Stand your ground. Whatever you need at that moment, I understand. A belated high-five to you all.

Love,
A Humbled Louise

So there you have it: I was Ms. Judge-y Pants.  That is one of the many lessons I've learned through experience with my own kids.  Here you can see what these lovely blogger's thoughts about "One Parenting Lesson We Learned the Hard Way." Here's Sarah (of Sarah on Purpose), Jac & Juli (of TwoFunMoms) & Shawna (of Simple on Purpose). 

PS Please tell me I'm not alone!  What is one thing you said before you had kids that you now realize wasn't realistic?

Bittersweet Moments

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” ― Anne Lamott

After spending a fun week with my extended family, there were some bittersweet thoughts.  Someone was missing and yet so many new wonderful people have been added to our lives through birth and marriage.  My sisters joke that I am always the one that will cry when we start talking about Mom, but I'm okay with it--it is sad that she is gone. I'm glad that I've made it through the hardest part and that I've learned how to "dance with the limp."  I'm thankful for each day that I get to speak into my own kids' lives and hopefully there will be many more.

"The cycle of grief has its own timetable. Until that cycle is honored and completed we are moving along life's path with an anchor down." — Ann Linnea in Deep Water Passage

Love, 

Louise

Top Ten Family-Friendly Activities at Tigh-Na-Mara

We just returned from a four night stay at Tigh-Na-Mara Seaside Spa Resort  in Parksville, B.C. with my entire extended family – 30 people. It was extremely relaxing due to the ages of our own kids (3-9 years old), the set up of our accommodations, and the family-friendly activities available at Tigh-Na-Mara. This is our third family reunion and definitely the most enjoyable. 

Camping in Tofino

Every year we head out to Ucluelet and Tofino; I believe this was our 7th year! Usually we go over Spring Break but this year we decided to go in the summer. We were going to Parksville later on in the week for a family reunion so it worked out well.

We always stop at Cathedral Grove; it's located just 20 minutes before Port Alberni and the perfect rest stop. The trees are amazing and the kids have a great time running around.

We arrived at our campground in Tofino around 2 pm. The road there is quite windy for an hour so be prepared! We stayed at Bella Pacifica Campground because it had good ratings and we were able to get a beachfront spot (#7).   If you go, I highly recommend getting a beach spot. It's not cheap at $54/night during peak season, but it's probably one of the most affordable lodging options in Tofino.   It is located on Mackenzie Beach which is just a 5 minute drive from town. If you are looking for a little more privacy in the beachfront sites then #1-8 are best. 

I did not pack appropriate clothing. We had left home when it was about 35C so I packed that way – it was a cool and windy and even rained the whole first night! 

We have a 5 man tent that we've been using the past few years. It fits us well but I don't think we could fit any more bodies in there! Every time I spend a night on that inflatable mattress I do wonder how many more years I can do it; my hips really feel it!

This is the view from our tent – nice, right?

Well, at least we didn't need to worry about sunscreen?! 

A major plus about this beach is it has an area that is contributed to by a stream. The water is warm and the kids played in there for hours.  

The sites were quite small but it worked for us and our tent.

After waking up to rain on Tuesday morning, I was not a happy camper. The kids loved their "camping breakfast" (cereal in a recyclable bowl from Costco.)  

It was too cold for the beach so we decided to go hiking. We hiked about 14 km total over the day!  We did the Rainforest Trail which we really enjoyed and would do over again. Koen said that was the highlight of our trip there. Notice Kai wearing Gary's shirt.  Note to self: always pack each person a hoodie. Always. 

We also drove into Ucluelet to the lighthouse because we really enjoy that view and it's tradition to get our photo at this sign. We did some more climbing and exploring there. Nya doesn't seem so impressed with that tradition.

{Below is the picture from 2014}

{And 2013...I'll stop now}

We went back to Tofino (Ucluelet and Tofino are about 30 minutes apart) and went out for pizza. I wasn't ready to go back to the campsite until it warmed up! The playground in Tofino is always a hit and we went there each day. My sister Maria and her family were staying in Tofino as well so we met up several times which the kids loved.

The sun came out so we went back to the campsite and got ready for a day at the beach!

Having a kite was also a major hit for the kids. They loved it; Kai was a little more successful than Nya with it.

We had the whole beach to ourselves!

The kids have been racing these animals for the past 6 years; there were 4 of them but now there are only 2.

By the afternoon the sun was out in full force–yay! By the way, this is our Costco hammock and we love it.

The cousins came over to play at our beach and this was Kai's higlight; jumping in the waves with the girls.

Then we had "smorepedoes" back at the campsite (waffle cone with mini marshmallows and chocolate chips wrapped in aluminum foil and placed in  pot on the stove.) 

Once the kids were in bed, we had a little time to relax.  

I was definitely happy that our second night would be warmer!

Wednesday morning was beautiful – I didn't want to leave!  

We stopped by Long Beach on our way out. You can't go to Tofino and not go to Long Beach.

Bye bye, Tofino. Now we need to figure out if we'll come back at Spring Break or the summer in 2016. Whatever we decide, we're definitely keeping the tradition alive.

Have you been to Tofino? What was your highlight?

Love,

Louise