Ten Things I Enjoyed on a Kid-Free Day

As I drove down the highway, I could feel the 327 tabs open in my brain slowly close. Appointments–close. Preschool–close.  Laundry–close. Grocery shopping–close. Field trip forms–close.  Library books–close. Emails–close. The pressure in my mind started to alleviate and tears came to my eyes.  Having four kids can be overwhelming at times; throw in some sleep deprivation and special needs and it's almost a constant state of stress. To be surrounded by the noise that my four kids create can be just too much for this introverted mom, and so, I decided to leave my family for 24 hours. On my own.

What did I learn from this time away?  Without kids, I could...

1.  Pee when I wanted to.

If I felt like I needed to use the bathroom, I did. I wasn't trying to herd four kids around while making sure that their stomachs were full and their shoes were tied; I could listen to my body and just go. Usually, I forget about it until everyone's contained in their seatbelt and I remember that I really, really need the facilities. Not only did I get to go when I wanted, I could relax while doing so; I didn't need to fear that my three-year-old would unlock the door and take off (while leaving me exposed yet again.)

2. Browse for food until I found something that I wanted.  

Let's be honest, normally we just pack sandwiches and granola bars for the kids when we go out because, well, money. If we decide to be fun and try to find a place to eat, there's not a lot of time to think before the kids get really adamant about where each one would like to go so we need to make a decision quickly. I spent 20 minutes looking around the market until my stomach decided it wanted a ham and cheese croissant warmed up.

3.  Wait as long as I liked to get my food.

I ordered a delicious grilled cheese sandwich from a food truck with a long line. I didn't have to worry about having toys in my purse or a bathroom nearby; I only had to enjoy the scenery and listen in to see what each person ordered ahead of me.

4. Walk as far as I wanted.

I didn't have to think "Okay, if one or two kids decided that they were too tired right now, could I make it back carrying them?" "How many kids could I fit in the stroller if I had to right now?" "If someone had diarrhea right now, where is the closest bathroom?" I think I worry about bathrooms a lot but if you've been in my shoes this is a fair concern.

5. Soak in the details.

Usually I'm occupied keeping a continuous eye (or hand) on the youngest two if we are in an urban area. Okay, it's not just the younger two, I need to make sure that my six-year-old isn't eating or licking something strange either.  With  my hands in my pocket, I looked up, down and all around.

6. Drive without a map.

It didn't matter how long it took to get to my destination; I knew the general direction and I would get there. I didn't have to worry about high-pitched screaming and head-locks in the back seat of the van which would require the quickest route to try to maintain my sanity.

7. Sip and savour my morning coffee.

There was no gulping down the second half of a cold cup of coffee. I took my time eating too. My kids engulf their food and once it's done, they're out of control again so Gary and I usually pound ours back, too.

8.  Lay in my hotel bed DURING THE DAY.

For two hours I laid in bed and read a book, surfed Facebook, and ate a dark chocolate bar. Then I took a bath (first one in three years–don't worry,  I shower daily) and returned to bed to read some more. Now that is the dream!

9. Ask myself what I wanted to do.

"Hey Self, you want to sit on the bench for a minute and relax? Do it." "Hey Self, you want to go back to bed in the middle of the day? Do it." "Hey Self, you want to go into that store with a whole bunch of breakables? Do it." "Hey Self, you want to drive to three different look-outs to just get out for a minute? Do it." What do they call this? Self reflection?  Being selfish? Whatever it was, I loved it. There was no wondering about all the possible factors that could come into play leading to an even larger number of outcomes, it was so simple.

10. Reflect on how awesome my husband is.

Nope, he didn't hack my list. So often I am consumed with everyone's immediate needs that I fail to recognize or acknowledge how supportive my partner is. With all those other tabs closed, I could just think about how blessed I am. He wasn't sure if I wanted him to visit me while I was away but I did. He got a babysitter, drove 45 minutes to spend an hour getting dessert with me, and then drove home. It was our first real date other than a Netflix date on the couch in four months. Usually we are much better at dating but with the the addition of child  #4, things are going to be different for a while and we're both committed to making our marriage the best that it can be (which is hard work by the way!)

What I've realized is that although it was dreamy to escape for 24 hours, I can add pockets of rest and relaxation to my every day by being intentional and prioritizing it.

Instead of checking Facebook from 8:00-8:30 pm, I can take a shower and climb into bed to read a chapter from my book.  Instead of always encouraging a family walk, I can get out for a walk by myself.  I can afford to book a massage and I can make time for a yoga class. Taking care of ourselves is unbelievably important, not only in regards to being happier at home, but for our overall health.

I had forgotten how to listen to my body because of all the noise – both in regards to decibels and in the busyness of life.  If you had 24 hours to yourself, what would you do?  

Love,
Louise

Scrapping "Normal" for The Good Stuff

**This is a guest post by the very talented Laura of The Kwerks–I enjoy her writing style; it just makes me smile.  I have loved following Laura and Ryan on their journey to simplification and creativity over the past few years.  They recently put themselves "out there" and were rewarded greatly.  Ryan was a great friend of mine in high school and it's wonderful seeing how Laura and Ryan work together to grow and create --read on!**

“We’re gonna win this.”

I typed it quickly and sent it off. Moments later, Ryan replied.

“Yup.”

So, my husband and I have begun a new endeavor recently. I won’t lie; it’s terrifying. But it’s also good. And it’s the good that I find myself fighting to focus on, to remember, to repeat to myself in moments when the terror creeps in.

Three short years ago, we were a family of five living a pretty usual suburban life. The house, the yard, the two cars, the commute, the three kids. We home schooled our kids, which was great and challenging, and I suppose that removed us from the “typical” label, but regardless, we were on the path laid out by our culture as the ideal.

Work your way up the ladder. Rent, then buy property, then buy bigger property, then live happily ever after with your happy family.

There came a point at which we stopped doing that thing - that typical life thing - because we looked at each other and asked the question, “Do we value this lifestyle?”

It turns out we didn’t.

And through a number of months, conversations, debates, arguments, deliberations, we came out with a list of our core values. It was these things that we wanted to actually live our life for. Community, family time, adventure, generosity, simplicity, frugal living. These were some of our key values and when we held them up to our life, we found there were some things that needed changing.

Fast forward three years and here we are now, having downsized, relocated, travelled, purged, simplified and blogged about the entire process.

It was a completely crazy few years, and yet it wasn’t until we reached the point of settling into our new home and attempting to normalize our new way that we realized that these values weren’t set in stone. No, they evolved. There were new values emerging, even as we lived fully into the original list.

And it was one of these new values that brought us to this new endeavor. The value of “pursuing your gifts”.

Okay, I’m going to be honest. The word “gift” when used to describe myself is one of the most uncomfortable things I can imagine. One of my deepest fears is to be perceived as being arrogant, or cocky, or like I’m special. And so when someone refers to me as “gifted”, I tend to shift the language to “impassioned”. I have a passion. That is where I feel comfortable. I’ll let the world decide whether I’m gifted or not.

So this new pursuit? Music. Singing and songwriting. Performing.

 Yes. I know. Dreamy right? I feel like the teenage girl who wants to grow up and be an actress.

And what’s so wrong with that? I have some kind of shame built up around the idea of pursuing my PASSION, (erm, my gifting) that says to me, “You’re not really allowed to do that. That’s for young, energetic idealists. You’re 36 - way too old to believe you should be following your dreams.”

Isn’t that a horrible voice? I’m learning so.

And so, here I am, here we are, my husband and I, “The Kwerks”, at the beginning of an adventure, at the dawn of discovering what it feels like to step into something that feels like it was designed for me.

When I write music, I feel like my whole self is involved. My whole self is being used and being lit up and being fully whole. When we perform I feel excited, not terrified. When we step off the stage I feel like saying, “When can we do it again?”

But as I mentioned at the outset, it’s horribly frightful to put myself out there. To write from the depths of my being, then perform it for people, and be expected to talk about what I wrote about? Imagine! Imagine that for a minute! All of your deepest stuff coming out for who knows who to take and analyze and judge! It’s terrifying!

And yet, it’s extremely liberating. I’m learning that.

Not so long ago, my husband and I received an email from Dominion Lending Centres, of whom we had been mortgage clients. They were holding a contest. Make a video about your experience with DLC. Make it interesting.

And as if we had been throwing ourselves into the spotlight our whole lives, we casually sent a couple emails back and forth.

“We’re gonna win this.”

“Yup.”

And then we did.

{Screen shot from the winning video which cannot be shared but you will see a version of it soon!}

So watch for our video, which will now be produced into a commercial to be aired during the broadcast of the Grey Cup and the Superbowl in Canada.

Can you believe it? We scarcely can.

thekwerks.com

**You can win the soon-to-be released single "Better Together" by The Kwerks by entering in the Rafflecopter below.  I cannot wait to see the commercial; way to scrap "normal", Laura and Ryan!**

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Love,
Louise

Thankful Thursday

{Thankful Thursday originated over two years ago.  Every Thursday I share 10 things I am thankful for; this truly helps to shape my day when I take the time to feel gratitude}

This week I am thankful for:

1. This trip. Just 8 months ago we won a trip to Disney World from Breakfast Television and WestJet; it still boggles my mind.  I watched this video again and it brought tears to my eyes.  How surreal!  

2. A great afternoon walk at the zoo.  4/4 kids were happy and because we have a family pass I don't feel bad going for just an hour.

3. Saving money cutting the boys hair. My mom cut my hair until I was 20 years old so this is just how I grew up!

4. Finishing a 1,000 piece puzzle!  The boys technically finished it for us :)  Gary was happy that I branched out for our Friday night "date" and puzzled with him.

5.  Nya Bear starting to get better.   She doesn't struggle as much at night which is great, but oh boy, does the Grumpy Pants come out in the daytime.  She has the croupy cough so has missed a week of preschool/ballet/socializing.

6. Running with my Kai Bear. So fun.  We're doing the MEC Langley Race Series together in a week--looking forward to it! I'm definitely way more out of shape than I was just a few months ago....

7.  A getaway.  I am currently away for 24 hours on my own--I'll update you tomorrow on how it went.  My priority going in was rest and rejuvenation. I am thankful for a friend lending me this book (The Nightingale) and another friend very generously gifting me with a gift certificate for a hotel stay that was going to expire--serious awesomeness.

8. Mandarin Oranges. Oh I love this time of year!

9.  A Good Recipe: Black Bean Soup.  Looks gross, I agree, but if you like black beans you will like this recipe; Bean Me Up, Scotty (from the Looneyspoons Collection) 

10. Super cute pictures of our Little One.  I took some portrait shots and had them printed for Little One's mama-she was so thankful.  I obviously can't share the photos but just picture cuteness.  And I haven't really mentioned this, but "Mama" and I are friends now (we get along.) She has said thank you for all that I've done and appreciates me.  Wild, right?!  This really helps with the transitional stage that will be coming up...if all goes according to plan.

I hope you have had a good week!  I would truly love to hear something that you are thankful for today!

Love,
Louise

Our Bedtime Routine

Gary and I are flexible in some parenting areas but getting our kids to bed on time is a priority.  Whenever we try to be a bit wild and let them stay up, we pay for it the next day because only one of our four kids actually sleeps in (yay Koen).  Our rapidly growing kids need their sleep and Gary and I love time each night to dedicate to one another (and enjoy an adult beverage!)

Our bedtime routine is quite predictable and they know what to expect.  Once the two Littles have their pj's on, they are allowed to watch a show on Netflix for 20 minutes with all six of us cuddling on the couch.  I know some people might not recommend TV before bedtime but I feel so connected to our kids when we are all bundled up together.  And, don't worry fellow book lovers, everyone gets a book (or four) read to them before going to sleep!

Right now their top picks are:

1.  A LeapFrog movie. As much as I'd like to think that I taught the Littles their letters, it wasn't me.

2. Signing Time.  I had no idea that this existed on Netflix until a few weeks ago but it's very cool!  We have a little friend who is deaf and this has helped us all to learn some very useful signs.  If you've ever watched it, the introduction song is always in my head.  When we saw our friend this week, Koen eagerly practiced what he learned but accidentally signed "poop" instead of "milk"--they are not similar at all.

3. Peppa Pig.  Oh boy. This is why Koen often speaks with an English accent and calls me Mommy Pig. 

Once the Littles are off to bed and the boys have completed their homework, they are allowed to watch their current favourite series....

4. Pokemon: Black & White.

So, if you're every wondering what's going on in the Chapman household from 6:30-7:30 pm, this is it--everyone in bed by 8 pm!  Is your household similar?

Have a great week!

Love, 

Louise

My Mom's Best Brownie Recipe

Growing up we were blessed with homemade cookies every day. My mom had about six different baking recipes that were her favourites and she always had this variety ready for our after school snack and in case company came by.

The one recipe that received the most comments was "The Best Brownie" one.  My sisters and I have all of our childhood recipes in a book my mom lovingly put together before she passed away (highly recommend this!)

This week, Kai decided to make this very recipe. He sweetly said that he would like to pass on the brownie recipe to his kids (melt me!)

There is a lot of sugar in this recipe so just be aware of that! Kai gave Nya the job of counting out 10 large marshmallows – what a good delegater.

I love seeing my kids baking or cooking in the kitchen, what a great life skill!

I think all the great cooking shows out there help to inspire them.

The "secret" ingredient is marshmallows as it makes for the perfect brownie frosting. Pretend my stove top is streak free.

It takes about 30 minutes from start to finish to make a large batch of brownies.

And of course, each bowl contains delicious chocolate.

Ta da! So moist, sweet, and gooey. It is also very scrumptious warmed up with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on it.

Ingredients
Brownie:
2 cups of sugar
1/3 cup of cocoa
1 cup of melted butter
4 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups of flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup walnuts (optional)

Frosting:
1 1/2 cups of sugar
1/2 cup of butter
1/3 cup of milk
1 cup of chocolate chips
10 large marshmallows

Instructions:
1. Pour melted butter over sugar and cocoa. Stir. Add the rest of the brownie ingredients and mix.  Bake in a 9 X 12" pan at 350 C for 25 minutes.

2. For the frosting, boil sugar, butter and milk for 1 minute.  Add the chocolate chips and marshmallows stirring until melted.

3. Remove brownie from oven and cool slightly.  Pour frosting on top and cool in the fridge.

All right, I'm going to go have one now.  What was one of your favourite childhood homemade treats?

Love,
Louise

The Music of Junk! {Giveaway}

Now here is a unique fun-filled family-friendly event which I know my kids would love: The Music of Junk! You can see everyday objects turned into musical instruments in an eco-concious production; it includes objects like a bed frame turned into a harp and a timpani made from a 1999 Honda Accord.  My kids could get so many ideas from this (and yes, I had to google "timpani" to ensure I knew what it was--a kettle drum!)

Paul Snider is the production's creator and composer who includes catchy songs and leads 12 local musicians who have their own junkyard masterpieces.  This production was recently named one of the 10 hottest art shows in November by Vancity Buzz and I think it would be a fantastic date night idea!

Junk becomes a musical treasure in this concert experience, The Music of Junk! and takes place from November 18-22 at the Waterfront Theatre on Granville Island.  Make a day of it exploring Granville Island, going out to eat, and then enjoy the show!  Tickets are very affordable for kids and you can find the price list here.

If you would like the chance to win a pair of tickets to the November 19th show, please enter in the Rafflecopter below! Good luck :)


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Love,
Louise

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for:

CanvasPop: A Beautiful Way To Display Photos {Giveaway}

Our home is covered in family photos; I think it's inevitable as a photographer and mom!  I love seeing pictures of my happy smiling kids on the walls, especially because this isn't always the case in real life!  Many times people have beautiful photos taken of their families or places they've visited but put off printing and displaying them due to time constraints or an uncertainty in knowing what to do with them.

I recently discovered CanvasPop  and they won me over with their great service; they responded to my questions quickly and were very friendly doing so!  They have a 100% Love Guarantee and my favourite part is that the quality of the photo print is fantastic--great colour matching and clarity.  

Hand in Hand

{Dada and Little One}

Halloween 2015

Our kids has such a great time trick-or-treating! This year we had a Little Pumpkin with us which made it very memorable--it reminded me of Koen last year...just so much excitement over every single candy.  There were a lot of comments over the cuteness of our Little Pumpkin :)  Oh man, I wish I could share photos!!